This move has been picked to death already but I need to do a new article for this blog. So... Here's the Emoji Movie.
Kill yourself after the break...
Contains Spoilers
Intro
If you have been living under a rock since the dawn of the internet, Emojis, I believe, initially spawned from the early forum and IRC days, back then usually referred to as Emoticons (or Emotes). They were simply things back then. There was a smiley face. Later there was a sad face. More came later and filled niches for different expressions that occasionally served as a better reaction to something than words. Eventually phone messenger apps for cell phones had their own library for emotes, which eventually caught the name Emoji (Which I assume is more of a brand name for the emotes that appeared in some of the proprietary apps, but I don't really know or care enough to research it). These apps used some kind of code to name the emojis, and it was this codename that was sent between phones. As such, while two apps may have different looking smiley faces, they'll still be visible to the different phones because they have the same codename. Or, uh, something like that.
Now, you know, you almost think that something called The Emoji Movie would maybe be in the same vein as The Social Network, and be centered on how these little cartoon faces have evolved and become so popular. Instead, it takes a Wreck-It Ralph approach with a "inside the world of your phone" thing going, including all of the cameos of real-world brands and characters. However, whereas Wreck-It Ralph was charming, fun, and didn't really come off as an advertisement for the real-world characters that appeared in the film (Largely because very few scenes even took place in an actual, existing video game), The Emoji Movie feels more like Food Fight where all of the real-world characters have been shoved in because their owners wanted to advertise in the film.
At least The Emoji Movie has better animation. But is it even worth it?
Plot for context (Spoilers!)
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| Gene, a 'Meh' Emoji |
The short of this is something we've all seen before. "Misfit who doesn't fit in" does "something wrong" and is "ostracized for being different than everybody else" and "must find his true purpose" so that "he can truly be happy and fit in where he belongs."
With more (albeit useless) detail, Gene (T.J. Miller) is a 'Meh' Emoji, the emoji that is unimpressed/bored/non-chalant/whatever. The big horrible problem though, is that Gene experiences more than one emotion! Egads! Despite this, he goes to work anyways, his job being an Emoji on the Emoji Messenger App installed on the cell phone of some kid named Alex (Jake T. Austin).
However, when Alex goes to use his 'Meh' in order to respond to some Emoji ridden message sent to him by his crush Addie (Tati Gabrielle), Gene freaks out and bursts into one of his other expressions, which causes the phone to send the wrong Emoji (Why do I keep capitalizing this?). As such, Alex begins to wonder if something is wrong with his cell phone, and begins to consider resetting it. However, if he does this the entire App community on his cell phone will be reset and destroyed, killing/resetting everyone (This makes less sense the more I think about it).
The boss Emoji Smiler (Maya Rudolph), seeing Gene as an imminent threat to survival, decides to use an army of robots to flat-out murder Gene (Instead of just firing him, replacing him, or training him, or giving him a second chance, etc... Not that at this point Alex isn't too convinced about his phone being defective, so Smiler is pretty much just pointlessly evil).
While escaping from the robots, Gene runs into Hi-5 (James Corden), an Emoji that is, you guessed it, a Hi-Five Hand. Gene, desperate to find some way to prove himself as a 'Meh,' begs for Hi-5's help. Hi-5 suggests Gene finds a hacker on the phone somewhere so that Gene can be re-programmed to feel nothing but 'Meh.'
Together, the pair leaves the app and find a Homebrew app disguised as a library app. There, they find a hacker named Jailbreak (Anna Faris) who appears to have been an Emoji once. Initially uninterested in helping, Jailbreak decides to help only when she witnesses Gene's vast array of emotions. Smiler's robots somehow get the drop on them and proceed to annihilate everyone in the app (Because they're Stormtroopers now, I guess).
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| The bland trio goes off for an adventure! |
They escape into the Candy Crush app and play a game of Candy Crush. And then they go into the Just Dance app (This was an app?) and play a game of Just Dance. Boy, do I sure want to play some Candy Crush and Just Dance now, right? Oh boy oh boy. Oh, and uh, Jailbreak is revealed to be a Princess Emoji, or something. Just sort of happens.
As it happens, when the Emojis play the apps, they apparently turn on in real time, thus making Alex's phone go off at inappropriate times. In a fit, Alex deletes the Just Dance app with the heroes inside it. Jailbreak and Gene escape, but Hi-5 is sent to the trash.
Meanwhile in the movie's B-Plot, which wasn't necessary to mention until now, Gene's parents Mel (Steven Wright) and Mary (Jennifer Coolidge) end up in a photo app while looking for Gene, intent on reaching him before the bots do. They have a fight, they part ways, and eventually meet back, where Mel explains that Gene's range of emotions are hereditary: Mel experiences the same range, but suppresses them in order to appear normal (As to why he has this ability, it's never explained past it being an apparent malfunction in their code).
Eventually through some finagling I don't care to explain, the heroes rescue Hi-5 from the trash and make it to the Dropbox app, where Jailbreak can both find a fix for Gene and find freedom for herself. Gene, having grown romantically attached to jailbreak, admits his feelings for her, only for her to rebuke him in favor of freedom in the cloud. This causes Gene to apparently reprogram himself into a true 'Meh.' Shortly after he's captured by Smiler's head robot and taken back to her homebase.
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| This part of the film sponsored by Twitter |
Using her Princess ability to call on random flying birds, Jailbreak summons the Twitter bird and together with Hi-5 they ride it back to Smiler's base in order to rescue Gene from getting meme'd on by Smiler's death ray.
Smiler, now obsessed with murdering Gene, prepares to execute him and his parents (Because evil), but is stopped at the last minute by Jailbreak and Hi-5. As it happens, Alex by this point was already in the phone store, looking to restore his phone to factory settings. In a last ditch effort, Gene somehow reverts out of his 'Meh' state and sends himself to Addie, only this time Gene uses his whole range of emotions to send a complicated animated Emoji that apparently expresses Alex's confused feelings for her.
Alex notices the Emoji being sent, and, being impressed with it, decides to keep his phone the way it is. The phone world is saved, and Gene is instated as a new Emoji. As a result, all of the Emojis in the town are invited into the VIP Emoji Lounge, and then partake in some cringey-ass dance they did during the Just Dance portion of the commercial... Er, I mean, movie.
Oh, and there's a Poop Emoji (Patrick Stewart) played by Patrick Stewart.
Thoughts
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| From Left to Right: Jailbreak, Gene, and Hi-5 |
Well, uh, it's not good.
Or, to be more specific: I think the most I can really say about this movie, is in fact, "Meh." When it's not face-palming bad, it's just really generic and boring. The jokes are lazy, the plot recycled, and it's cynically corporate. It exists to sell apps and reference memes that are long-outdated. The jokes aren't funny, and the ones I laughed at were funny in more of an Anti-Joke kind of way (There's a clock that insinuates that his clock hands are boobs or something).
I could say that it's a dumb-downed kids movie, but I wouldn't even let kids watch this. They deserve better. It's not kiddie-fare. It's no-one fare.
Gene is a cookie-cutter protagonist we've seen in countless films (Many a low budget animated film, too). He's kind of like Wreck-It Ralph, but with way less personality, and even less motivation. I'd argue Ralph's movie is set in the misfit-cliche, but at least they try to make it interesting and give him and the world around him more depth. Gene feels like a shallow clone.
Jailbreak is a weird character I can't put my finger on. She constantly complains about mansplaining or some bullshit and keeps talking about why gender stereotypes are bad and has strawman arguments for everything. Then, at the end of the film, she seemingly embraces her Princess side. The only thing I found mildly interesting is that she rejects Gene's affections because she feels being free from the confines of the cell phone is more important. To be fair, given the film's context, she might not be wrong. But then she turns her back on it, even after saving Gene, and decides to trap herself in the confines of the phone because she's now happy without the freedom. Huh?
Hi-5 is annoying comic relief. He isn't interesting, and he isn't funny. Corden delivers a pretty good vocal performance, though. I can't fault that. The only thing I really laughed at regarding this character was that, after escaping the Trash Bin using a rope on a pulley, he throws the rope down in order to help some of the other trapped victims. But then he accidentally kicks the pulley into the Trash and runs off without noticing, damning them all to die. It was my only truly genuine laugh in the entire film, though I was some astonished that it was even in the movie (Shortly before this we see the Just Dance Mascot mourning her death by literally sobbing in a corner in a fetal position. It wasn't comical. It was kind of depressing. And then Hi-5 unintentionally kills her. Christ).
Smiler is evil for the sake of the film needing a villain. Her motive is one of a survivalist, but she's obstinate to the max, and her argument for killing Gene for his mistake is pretty weak. She's just a generic bad guy who sucks at being a compelling villain who seems dangerous to the heroes.
Poop Emoji is just fucking stupid, okay? He's a two note joke: 1) He's a walking pile of shit and 2) He's voiced by Patrick Stewart.
I'll admit, I was sort of invested in Mel and Mary's relationship troubles. But these character raised some important questions for me: 1) Do Emojis reproduce? I guess they do if they have a son, and Poop has a kid, too. But, then, 2) how long is Emoji conception? 3) How fast do they age? They seem to interact with Alex's world in real-time. But if that's case, it's unlikely Alex has had his phone for too many years. 4) Are Emoji cities programmed into the phone? 5) Are the Emojis programmed with parents?
So much of the world makes little sense. If the phone is reset, then wouldn't they technically all be back to normal after the reset? Like, Gene would maybe lose his malfunction, right? And Mel... Would he lose his too, then? Or, how was he a malfunction, and how did he pass it on to a son, and how old are they, and how... Like, you see where I'm going with this right? I don't understand how this world works. At all.
But you know, maybe that all adds into why this movie really kinda sucks, you know? I wish i could recommend this movie as so bad it's good, but it's not. it's just really bland, boring, predictable, and bad. But if you want to see a bad film that sort of does its own job in explaining why its bad as you watch it, this is the movie to waste an hour and a half on. It's kind of a learning experience.
Pros:
Good animation
Good vocal performances
Soundtrack is okay, but it wasn't standout in any way
There were a few backdrops that actually looked pretty good. The design of the Emoji City was kind of cool.
Cons:
Everything else. Literally.
Poop Emoji is just fucking stupid, okay? He's a two note joke: 1) He's a walking pile of shit and 2) He's voiced by Patrick Stewart.
I'll admit, I was sort of invested in Mel and Mary's relationship troubles. But these character raised some important questions for me: 1) Do Emojis reproduce? I guess they do if they have a son, and Poop has a kid, too. But, then, 2) how long is Emoji conception? 3) How fast do they age? They seem to interact with Alex's world in real-time. But if that's case, it's unlikely Alex has had his phone for too many years. 4) Are Emoji cities programmed into the phone? 5) Are the Emojis programmed with parents?
So much of the world makes little sense. If the phone is reset, then wouldn't they technically all be back to normal after the reset? Like, Gene would maybe lose his malfunction, right? And Mel... Would he lose his too, then? Or, how was he a malfunction, and how did he pass it on to a son, and how old are they, and how... Like, you see where I'm going with this right? I don't understand how this world works. At all.
But you know, maybe that all adds into why this movie really kinda sucks, you know? I wish i could recommend this movie as so bad it's good, but it's not. it's just really bland, boring, predictable, and bad. But if you want to see a bad film that sort of does its own job in explaining why its bad as you watch it, this is the movie to waste an hour and a half on. It's kind of a learning experience.
Pros:
Good animation
Good vocal performances
Soundtrack is okay, but it wasn't standout in any way
There were a few backdrops that actually looked pretty good. The design of the Emoji City was kind of cool.
Cons:
Everything else. Literally.
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